August in all its craziness!

We kicked off August with a good ol float down the Onieda Narrows in Preston... It was so fun cause Mom, Dad, and Meme were in town. We had a blast- and laughed- ALOT- My mother + a inner tube = priceless ;) hahaha it took us about 3 hours to float from top to bottom, and then Bryan's parents invited us up to Mink Creek for some lunch... Holy Cow Wendy's yard is BEAUTIFUL- it was such a fun afternoon- I think its safe to say Colton and I (and everyone else) felt the fullness of joy that day! That is what paradise feels like I am sure :)

Just makin himself comfortable... haha this man...

Our whole crew

These look alot bigger when you are on the river... hahaha oh so fun!

Photo op ;)

I would post more pictures of Colt but he ended up taking off his shirt and had to share the raft with Kayson.... hahaha so he would kill me if I posted those pictures because they were quite entertaining.. This same weekend Jessica and Bryan Blessed their sweet little Khloe Arda- It was quite the weekend......

Bumpa with his girls! I sure love these little girls! 

This man is my Hero! Not very often does he make it to Richmond- Such a blessing!

My little angel girl! 

Always making me smile :)

My heart

Isn't he so handsome!! SO glad I locked him in FOREVER! haha 

We also had a nice visit from Colton's folks in August, it was a quicky but so nice to see them!! We enjoyed a yummy dinner, and then the next morning took them to the famous LD's Cafe here in Richmond. After lunch we stopped at the Fudge store and got a treat- and then took Brad and Jayne to the local Harvest Market. It was so nice having them visit! We love showing family and friends around our little home of Richmond! As always it was too short but we are so grateful they could come up! 

Other than family visits life consists of work, Dacie, Dixie, and doctors appointments. Since moving to Richmond date night for Colt and I are pretty rare- after a long days work and a 20 minute drive home the last thing we want to do is drive all the way back in to Logan- So we cherish those rare occasions when we both have enough energy to go on a date. 

This was one of those date night occasions :) Man he is handsome!!!

Me and my pup before a little road trip... This girl brings me immeasurable joy!

Snuggle fest :)

Fresh out of the Groomer- so not happy with me ha

Life is so good- we are so blessed, and I am oh so happy fall is in full swing! WAHOO! Excuse me while I go change all my scentsys to everything PUMPKIN! YAY! 

July

Our favorite part of July is just when the sun begins to go down and its cool enough to take our girls on a nice stroll up the mountain. We LOVE where we live.... the mountains are literally seconds away with so much to do! It was a beautiful summer here in Cache valley- with July by far the hottest month of them all. We don't have A/C so it can be kind of rough some nights- but we live and luckily its really only 3 months out of the entire year. July came and went in a flash. We had fireworks- as usual. And Colton's Brother Marshall and his wife Taylor came to visit us in Logan- it was such a blast!! We had a farewell on Colton's side in Springville so we got to see all his family. My Mom sisters and I had our annual girls trip, and to top it off my sisters and I visited Hogle Zoo with the kiddos :) It was busy but filled with family and we wouldn't have it any other way! :) I was absolutely horrible at taking pictures of all the festivities so here is what I got.... haha 

I could just love on this little guy EVERY DAY. He is adorable and I was in Auntie heaven!!! Desmond's first trip to Bear Lake was a success I'd say :) 

Colton with Lauren's little Owen... He is such adorable Uncle- I can't wait for the day he can be a daddy!!! 

MY turn with Owen... :) 

I am so mad at my self for not getting a picture of us with Elder Murdock at his farewell!!!! He is just awesome and is already such a amazing missionary!!!! So proud :) I guess I will make it my mission to get a return picture with him and Colt!!! 

DINOSAUR Exhibit at Hogle Zoo- Kays was in HEAVEN.....

Seals and Sea lions are so fun to watch!!!

Kayson was freaking out about the T-REX!! I love these kiddos!!!! 

Love me some Khloe Bear!!! 

Well peeps thats all I got for July!!! YAY for SUMMER- and YAY for summer being ALMOST OVER!!!! 

Infertility

Infertility freakin sucks. Bottom line- it is no good, not fun, and not something ANYONE should ever have to endure. Mentally and Physically it can kick your trash, while sending you on a never ending emotional roller coaster. Everyone around you gets pregnant, everyone around you has a baby, and everyone in your ward, neighborhood, or at work seems so happy with their perfect little families. Every month comes with heartache, every month you mourn something you feel like you will never have. You cry, and cry again. You pump your body with so many hormones, injections, pills- that it doesn't even feel like yourself- weight gain, mood swings, and pure crazy becomes a everyday battle. Your body is not your body, used for the better good and hope of conceiving- poked, pryed, discomfort, pain- sometimes viles and viles of blood. But its all worth it for the most righteous desire anyone could possible yearn for. A Baby.

I often think "When I get pregnant I am going to savor it more then normal women.." or " When I get pregnant no matter how sick I am I am going to be grateful I am pregant and will be GRATEFUL I am sick.." or " When I am a mom I am going to stay home..." or "When I am pregnant I am going to soak in EVERY. SINGLE. SECOND." But then you are sitting across from a Fertility Specialist- 3rd to be exact- and you hear the words- "You can't get pregnant on your own." or "Something is wrong with YOU." Seriously the most depressing things to hear after trying to have a baby for 4 years. All the sudden all those When I get pregnant ideas turn into "Will I EVER have a baby of my own?" "Will I ever be able to see Colton be the amazing Dad I KNOW he will be?" "Will I EVER be a Mom?"

Colton and I are very private people, and don't normally share these kind of things to the world- BUT it is our blog. A place where we document the happenings in our lives  to see how much we have grown spiritually and in life itself-and hopfully a place where we can see our family grow over time.. There is more than just Colton and I who have invested alot of time and grief over our situation- so this is for family members and dear friends who have been on this roller coaster ride with us to come and get updates on our process. Hopefully by telling our story it can be used for good- and help comfort someone in a similar situation. So here is our story of Infertility in a nutshell (I will spare you the gory details) ;).

Before Colton and I got married we always knew we would want to kids sooner than later. It was something we both felt was right- and wanting a good size family we would need the time to make it possible. We were married in October of 2011, and I took my birth control out in November- yes I was only on it for two months (from September- October) so in December we began a journey we never would have imagined we would still be on.... About a year later we were getting worried so we started going to the doctor in my OB's clinic that specialized in fertility. Tests were run, and boom I was put on Chlomid.  9 Months later on the highest dosage you could do there was still no sign of conception. After a much needed 3 month break to clear my body of any left over meds. After trying other meds while taking month break intervals in between we decided that it was time to move on to a fertility specialist. So we met with Dr. Swelstad in Layton. He then put me on Femera- a drug similiar to Chlomid- and suggested we do Intrauterine Insemination. This is when they collect the sperm, wash it down- give it something that makes it happy and moving fast- and then they inject it into my cervix. Afterwards you have to lie there for about 10 minutes, and then you go about your day as if nothing happened. For the majority of people it is a 10 minutes procedure- but for us it never was easy peasy. It was always painful- and took longer than 30 minutes. After the first 3 IUI's failed he then suggested having us do injections on the next ones.

3 more IUI's later- with injections and Femera we were still looking at a not pregnant on a pregnancy test. I hate those things- not even kidding haha. Fast Forward to today- we are now seeing ANOTHER Doctor in Pleasant Grove UT at the Utah Fertility clinic (Dr. Foulk). After 3 years of being "Unexplained" we have learned (even after a passed ink test/HSG) that something is wrong with my tubes. In the doctors words its a plumbing issue on my part- so the only thing that can get us a baby is IVF- And are now set up to begin in September. The doctor was VERY confident this will get us a baby- not gonna lie I am absolutely TERRIFIED. Having a doctor tell me I am not normal- and something is wrong with me makes it so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, and then I am reminded we are not alone.

Everyday we ask ourselves, "Okay what are we supposed to be learning from this trial?" And everyday I am surprised it is something new. Starting this post in the most brutally honest way must come across so negative- but that is not my point at all. That is literally what Colton and I live EVERY DAY. While it is negative- it is a daily reminder that I can call on the comfort of the Holy Ghost whenever I need to- and that my Heavenly Father knows EXACTLY what he is doing with Colton and I. For some reason we chose this trial- and as much as I HATE going through this I wouldn't trade it for the world. Our marriage has never been stronger, and I have never appreciated Colton more than I do now seeing him have to deal with Jennazilla on a daily basis. I am so grateful for how hard he works- so we can try to have a family. Most importantly I am so grateful for he example of service, and fulfilling his church callings despite life. He is my best friend-and he has seen me at my worst- and still loves me which is mind blowing.

It really has been such a humbling few years. I have grown empathy for so many different people- and realize what is important in life. Life is not about stuff. It isn't about how high up a corporate ladder you can climb, or what kind of car you drive. Life is about love- and being grateful for what you do have no matter the situation. Life is about family- and being sealed to them for eternity. I am SO grateful for the temple- and find myself spending alot of time there just so I can feel peace again. I am amazed at the compassion, and love I feel from family and friends- and in alot of cases complete strangers. There really ARE good people in this world- I hope one day I can be one of those... I think the hardest thing I have had to learn is that people cant stop living their lives because of another's circumstances. In both Colton and my families we have gained 5 new grandbabies in a 7 month period. While we are thrilled to have all these sweet spirits joining our families it has been so hard on us. My Big Sister lives two blocks away- so naturally I spend ALOT of time with her and her kiddos. Let me tell you it was not easy seeing her grow every day- with a pregnant glow- but I am so grateful I got to live through her, in a sense, with pregnancy. She invited me into the delivery room and it was one of the most special days of my life. I grew such a respect for all my sisters/sister in laws that had or are having babies.

So there are many silver linings to any sad, or bad situation. We have had many prayers and fasts on our behalf- and we are so incredibly grateful for each and every one. From these we have seen the blessings and felt the love above all else. Never in our wildest dreams did we think we would EVER be able to do IVF- and here we are starting our meds this week (August)- and starting the September cycle. We are SO SO blessed and excited to start this next chapter in our battle with infertility! Fingers crossed it has a good result!! As this is our first official post on our infertility I feel it is only right to document the rest of our journey for us to look back on and for any family and friends who have been through these last few years with us. Updates will come soon!! Our hearts are full and we are READY! IVF Here we come!!!!

Projects

Someone at our house has gotten the project itch..... Man this guys is building left and right.. It sure pays to be married to someone who works at a building supply :)  Haha so Colt has always wanted to make us a bed.. and boy did he deliver!! All I said was that I wanted it Chunky, and white- the rest was totally up to Colt. He is a keeper for sure, and knows his wife well enough to make it exactly how I pictured it.... 

The beginning of something amazing...

Painting took forever it felt like- Colt did it ALL. 

Putting it together.. Our center piece is a wood door that was in the junk pile at Sunroc- Colt saw potential in it and it can't be more ideal. 

My worker bee

The finished product ahhh I could look at it all day he did AMAZING! 

Our next project was a matching corner hutch :) and boy oh boy I LOVE how this one turned out... 

The Beginning of something great :) 

Before Paint

Not a very good pic, but it looks sooo good- and matches my bed perfectly!!! Ps this picture is taken above- so it looks smaller-- but it is as tall as me in real life ;) 

Isn't she a beaut?! :) My bedrooms is quickly becoming my favorite room of our home! 

Because we only really have two large walls in our room and one of them is taken up with my massive bed, I decided to throw up some decor... I am lovin the way it turned out!!

Well folks thats that :)  I am sure with fall right around the corner we both will be getting the create something new itch...so stay tuned :) 

April-June 2015

April kicked off with the start of the Pollard "BABY BOOM" Ha My bro and his sweet wife welcomed their second child/ little girl to their cute family!! Lily Jean Pollard- and let me tell you I INSTANTLY was in LOVE!!! Ah she is sooo precious!!

MM I love her. 

Seriously the prettiest Newborn!!!

I literally could snuggle this babe ALL. DAY. LONG.

The same weekend as Miss Lily's arrival was PROM, and my little sis who is now old enough to date was going. Not to mention with a senior, so she was in the promanade--- she is growing up sooo fast, not fair :( so we spent the weekend doing her friends nails, and getting her all dolled up for the festivities! She looked BEAUTIFUL and wore one of my Prom Dresses- of which I cannot believe I used to be a size 1......UM what happend to me?! HAHAHA can I please go back to being that skinny?? Haha you would never know it was 9 almost 10 years old!! WHAT?! I am getting OLD...... 

Her hair turned out GORGEOUS!

She and my big bro Jason are our brunettes in the family- I love her hair..

They looked so good!!!

Ready to go! Whoot whoot!!!

The weekend of my Uncles funeral the fam got together and had a little BBQ.. I sure love this family of  mine-- they are pretty awesome just sayin! I love that we all live somewhat close to each other!!

It was a mad house..

And here I thought we were taking a sweet pic, obviously Colt thinks otherwise haha 

Ky Ky loves her Bumpa 

Dad and Colt 

Just two pollard Men straight chillin haha

I sure love my Beckham boy!!!

Goosey was the chosen one getting to feed Lily, I may have been a tad bit jealous! ;)

Come out to play little baby Westerberg......

Mom really wanted to be in the pic- and I apparently thought she was a SUPASTAR!

Sisters

I mean that bump tho.... 

To get a NORMAL smile out of this man is near impossible... but I love him anyways :)

I have said this once and I will most definately say it again... This pup was the BEST thing Colton has ever given me!!! Holy smokes we are attached at the hip, and I love her more than words....

Chillin before Mom has to go to work one day...

My furbaby :) All grown up :( 

The weekend my Bro blessed his baby girl we were able to go to Burley for the weekend, it was such a nice relaxing weekend home! We decided to go for a drive, and showed Colton the city of Rocks- it was fun to show him a new place not to far from Burley- and made for such a fun outing with my mom and sister. I love it when we can just sit back and enjoy, a nice break from work... 

I love this handsome man!!!

Such a FUN Memory!!! 

Next up was Lily's blessing- she is such a doll and looked so precious in her blessing dress!!! :)

After our weekend in Burley we had Colt's parents and little sis come visit us!! It was sooo fun and we were in heaven having them here- definately the highlight of our month in May. So nice to visit and just hang out with them- we need to do it more often for sure!!! :) One of the Days Colton and his Dad went fishing, while us girls had a day at the salon getting nails and toes painted, followed by cupcakes and lite shopping. When the boys got back we went to dinner, and then took Dixie out on a little evening stroll to somewhat walk off all the delicious calories we consumed that day ;) it was perfect! We were sad to see them go, hopefully they will come back to Logan again soon! 

Gone Fishin'

Colts Dad fishin the Logan River

Micky's nails

After their pedis, I sure love this Chicka she is pretty awesome!

Not only did we sit and eat cupcakes at the cupcake place we had to of course bring some home for later ;) Micky's favorite!!

Colt and his pretty Momma :)

Okay so funny story.... Dixie is a Brittany Spaniel- the reason Colt wanted her is because she is a bird/hunting dog and boy did she prove it to us. So we decided we wanted to go on a nice stroll with Colts family and take Dix along for entertainment while we walked (she is sooo funny to watch run loose on the mountain haha hopping in the creek chasing birds you name it) right off at the beginning Dixie beelined it to the top of the hill across the creek, she had caught the scent of something and was headed for it. After minutes of calling her name- and hearing her bark we could not get her to come down to us. I was worried (naturally) that she had found a porcipine, or worse a skunk- so Colt jumped the creek and headed up the hill to see what was going on, and this is what he found....

Dixie had cornered a juvenile woodchuck. she was swatting and playing with the poor thing- but it wouldn't run away.. she was so proud of her find she wouldn't leave it until Colton had gone up so she could show him her prize. Eventually she ended up killing the poor thing, and carrying it proudly on our trail with us until she could find a place to bury it. Haha oh this dog... you should have heard us girls scream when we realized she was walking right next to us with a dead animal in her mouth. haha oh boy it was sure exciting.... oh Dix...

Observing the little hunter...

She was so proud... I love this picture!!! Dixie in her element :)

Slightly raining and oh so beautiful :) It was the perfect end to a already perfect weekend! 

The most exciting part of June for me was witnessing the birth of my big sister's baby girl!!! Man that was one of the COOLEST experiences of my life!! I had just gotten back from girls camp the day before Miss Khloe made her appearance, and at 1:00 AM on the 14th of June my sister called and said her water had broke so Colt and I went and sat with kiddos until Bryan's mom arrived to stay with the kids the remainder of the night. As soon as she got to the house I headed into town with my
brother in law texting me: HURRY! or JESS IS HURTING PRETTY BAD! So I was feeling somewhat frantic- and what do ya know blue and red lights in my rearview mirror haha I totally got pulled over! Luckily it was only for a broken taillight- so I was finally on my way yet again in the mad dash to the hospital. As soon as I got there I could tell it was organized chaos. Jess progressed from a 3 to a complete in a half hour- and they didn't have time to give her a epidural. Her doctor was on vacation- surprise surprise hahaha- so we had to wait for the on call doc to get there. within minutes he appeared and boom we had a baby!! I got to cut her cord- which was pretty awesome :) I am so grateful to Jess and Bry for letting me in the room, it was such a cool experience! I sure love this baby girl- and will forever have a special bond with her for getting to share the experience with them!! 

8 pounds and 18 inches of pure perfection

love her!

Coco meets Khloe Bear

My girl!

Lily came to visit- so I HAD to get a pic with both my girls... they are soooo precious!!! PS outfits were totally not planned they just both happened to be dressed in purple! :)

Next up on and last of all on this crazy long post is FIREWORKS! Ahhh a love-hate time of year for me haha. Its dirty, smoldering hot- and physically hard work- but worth it to spend quality time with the family. I love making memories with all of them in the booth!! I think we have literally seen every firework like 5 billion times haha so here is to our 2015 season!!!

Kissin our frog princes ;)

Nothing would be possible without this lady right here- I love my Momma more than anything!!!

So that is that. The heights and happenings at the Cox household the last 3 months! Hooray for LIFE and LIVIN it!!! ;)